Intimacy...Living a Rich and Meaningful Life?

I feel the pull to blog. So much has happen in this week of coming to the Maritimes. It has been so calm, yet, so propelling, knowing that this is for my own growth. Yes, it is important for me to be aware, paying attention for people to know of how it will be a benefit for them, of what I offer, if they choose to engage with me.

Yes, this is so true...and where am I right now...something this week showed me so much more then I even imagine...

I took one day and drove down to Antigonish. This is where my aunt is. What I do want to say is that she was a very progression women and was strong, independent and loved life. I am only assuming, yet, see a very different women now and she is in a private nursing home. Yes, the environment is exactly what I would of imagine her to be in - looking out her window with green grass and sheep in the distance. I was just in aye of the surroundings and views that she could enjoy.

When I was sitting in her room with her. I asked her, "wow, do you ever just lie here and enjoy your view?"

The answer came back quickly and she replied, "no".

I am just devastated, and yes, that is a big word...I hurt to the core of how big she was in the world and how she has gone...oh yeah, i can see little glimmers of who she was, yet, she is gone.

The intimacy of conversations I had with her are gone. The joy that I shared with her of her being my aunt, and for me, being her niece are gone. The connection I shared with her, of being a Maritimer are gone.

Wow, waves and waves are coming...what is so gone out of my own life? I know that I am going to be okay when she chooses to go on... What is it about my own life that she is reflecting at me?

She never gave up and I am sure as a social worker after the war...there had to be many times that she just motored on with what she believed in her own being. Women at that time were not valued in the workplace and she rose to the top in her field. She never limited herself in the things that she wanted for herself.

At one point in the visit, I am sure she was seeing herself through me, and she didn't give up to look for her lipstick...in her grace, she took the little mirror and, like she always did all her life, put her lipstick on with pride (you know I don't even know the fitting word for how she put her lipstick on)...it brought out so much color to her, and I could see more of who she was in the world.

Yes, I feel "devastated" right now.....tears are flowing...

So, I am going to bring this back to me...do I limit myself? Maybe the bigger question for me, do I live a rich life?

There is something there right now...where do I live a rich life? I am not anywhere in the thinking of "money"....what is coming up for me, is, do I choose to live a "rich" meaningful life?
Do I always choose to do the things that have meaning to me? Do I choose to be around the people that allow me the space of a "rich meaningful life"?

This week was amazing...

I met up with some women this week that truly love who they are, and respect who I am in the world. The joy when I saw them...was only of Respect, Integrity and Generosity of Spirit...

I sit here and pause...i don't know if I have made sense, and that is not the intent of why I am blogging...I blog because it is "rich and meaningful" for me. I have lots to do today, making physical contact - hmm, the intimacy that is so rich and meaningful to me!

Do you live in the moment, a rich and meaningful life?

How easy it is when we make it that way...all i have to do is breathe!

Trust Yourself