Thinking about "New Year's Resoultions" Differently

Here it is December 30th, 2008. I know that I stand in such a strong safe place for and within myself and there is more potential for me to touch in 2009! How exciting for me!!!

This past month has been nothing short of amazing for me. Through all the weather that we have been experiencing I moved from our rented home to our new home, effortlessly. Five days of moving all our little stuff and then on the fifth day we had movers move our big stuff. Yes we were experiencing extremely cold temperatures, ice condition storms, snow, rain; not to mention a bus strike that has been going on for the past 21 days - with that, apparently 20 % more cars are on the road. It made no difference to me that that was going on. And I must say, I was unstoppable, everything was just fine because I said so. Actually to let you know the truth, metaphorically, it was a time of letting go as well as, being excited about my new life - the new life I am choosing and choose to have!!!

Also, my husband and I drove down to the Niagara Peninsula to spend time with my side of the family and to pick up our son. During that time the weather was either slushy conditions or rain and gusty winds. We were just fine. Actually our drive back on the 26th was clear sailing and we got back to Ottawa in record time for us.

I don't say anymore that "I survived" and now have changed my thinking to "my word is law in my world" - meaning, that with intention, I know that I am safe, because I say so.

Tonight I am sitting in my new home. My husband and son are out and I am "claiming" and "owning" what I have created for myself. Wow, recently a new car that has given me unbelievable mobility to my life. A new home where I have a sense of being home.

Actually for the first time, of any homes I have lived in...in this home, every window in my home has a view of nature and awe. This afternoon reading a book on my bed I looked out the window and to my delight saw a hawk or eagle fly high over the tops of the trees. Tonight looking out my living room window I saw the moon in all its glory.

I almost can't stay put as I am so excited to venture on with what is meaningful to me. I don't have to think of any "resolutions" at this time of year anymore, I just will "live" my truth each moment.

I had a conversation today with a brother that is close to me in age and spirit. The conversation came up about "my diabetes" and I said to him, I no longer have "diabetes". He is elated with joy and shared and knows in his own body that this is possible if we choose. What a wonderful place for him to stand right now, even though he doesn't understand how that is possible for me. What he does understand is that we had a sister that died of cancer and for me to be "free" of my "disease" that means the world to him.

I talked about the "different" ways I am choosing to move through my world. For example, I don't struggle with thinking about exercising anymore. Walking my dog daily for an hour has become something that brings lots of joy to me. In fact, I talked about this is a "priority" to me and I do this no matter what goes on in my day. If that means I do it at 6 o'clock in the morning or 8 o'clock at night and usually the best time for me is during the day, I enjoy the time. And this is MY time!!! Very different then feeling obliged to exercise.

This is the first Christmas that I didn't experience "depression". Wow, how can that be ever since I was a teenager I was always depressed at this time of year.

During the time I was on "insulin" I became interested in food that would benefit and nourish my body and most importantly, the food had to be something I enjoy eating. Totally different then counting calories. I don't worry about "extra" calories in a recipe. And no that if I am satisfied eating whatever, then no extra pounds will go on. Pure and simple thinking. I don't even have the thinking anymore of "denial" - if I feel like it, a coke once in awhile, chocolate bars or whatever I fancy, I eat or drink with no attachment of "guilt". In fact, I was telling my brother that if I choose to go and have a sweet at a coffee shop there are no more guilt feelings in the morning. I have freed myself from that thinking.

Now, what I do pay attention to is when I am thirsty or hungry, I ask myself much different questions.

If you would like to experience a "different" way of thinking about "diets", "weight" or "health" and are exhausted of doing the insanity thing - doing the same things over and over again, and expecting different results. And in the next few days those New Year's Resolutions are expressed only to make you feel like a failure in the next couple of weeks...Don't hesitate to contact me at trust-your-self@rogers.com

Trust yourself