Embracing the full intensity of 'Irritation'!

The question that is arising, is, how much more space can I create for myself as I choose to grow?

The momentum I am creating is propelling me into a direction of my choosing, and I know that there is more space for me to be 'fuller'. The last few days I have been experiencing 'irritation'... now in this paradigm shift, from a WEL-Systems (R) context, I know this 'information' is presenting 'itself' for me to know more of who I am 'authentically'; the "real me"!

This is a very familiar feeling in my body and yet, it is not of my past. And maybe, it is from my past? In my world, many things can exist at the same time...what is this 'unknown' 'irritation'?

What does 'irritation' mean to me? What information does it hold for me? Am I willing and able to let this move or do I choose to keep 'it' from not moving?

The dictionary definition is "excite to anger, annoy - easily annoyed" from the pocket oxford dictionary. Okay, next impulse...I am looking up 'annoy' - "cause slight anger or mental distress to."

Some of that is making sense...and very clear to me that this, although not comfortable, is the 'fire energy' that propells me into my emerging future!

Well I am going to go into last evening as I could hardly 'contain' myself. (nice metaphor - 'contain') I was up doing something, then to the kitchen to 'eat' something wanting this to "go away", or to 'numb' this sensation. Again, I lied down, then back up again, spoke to my husband and found that it had no words (huge progression for me, as before I would not share this with my husband), and then, I just allowed 'it' to move, breathing...breathing...deeper breathes. Yes, a sensation of being "pissed off'!

What came up for me is that I didn't want to do what I had planned to do today. I wanted a change in my schedule, as my body needed some 'away from it all' time. Even though I am understanding that I engage, engage, and engage again...I also know that if my body is telling me to Pause, in that moment, and do what is meaningful to me, and then have fun, engaging, engaging, engaging, once again; in this dance 'it' all becomes 'right' for me. I am having so much fun having conversations that lite me up yet know in this moment, and just for this brief time....I DESERVE to have some time that has meaning for me. on my own. To boot, I know that I am no longer the 'lone wolf' and this 'moment' is a time to nourish me - and I choose to do it, alone.

This is kind of funny, yet, not very often in my past, when I would get to this point I would say I was "sick". Well, that created a lot of rules for me because I would have to 'stay' in bed, not go out of the house because someone would see me, and 'prison' myself, only because I DESERVE some time for myself. How crazy is that? Sounds like I was counterproductive! And getting more of what I didn't want!!!

This 'excited irritation' is unfolding in a new way. I wonder if this is something I would 'push down' to not make myself 'big' or visible? Hmm, Which choices do I make that allow me to be 'visible' and 'excited irritation'...to be 'visible' having an 'excited irritation'?

Hmm, as I write that last sentence...there is a knowing that I made a lot of rules, as well, lots of rules came into my world about 'visible' having 'excited irritiation'.

I hear my own inner voice saying to me, "must be cool, calm and collective".

How easy it is for me to "congratulate", "honor" and especially if you are male, to think way more of you, then myself. (I am not looking to ridicule men, this is just an awareness that I held true to myself up to this moment, and no more.) No more because it keeps me small, and it keeps the men in my life small - let alone, other men in the world.

Even last night I was not giving myself permision to 'embrace' all of this energy. I was doing what I have done in the past, to do everything else execpt to allow the full intensity of this information to move.

Trust YourSelf