I USE to Need Approval from EVERYONE!

Here it 5 o'clock on a Saturday evening. The house is in complete quietness. I'm on a "Choosing Me" weekend. And I'm elated!!!!

What that means to me is that I am wanting/desiring to be with me, and only me this weekend, besides Rugby (my dog that knows only to give unconditional love! LOL - laughing out loud) I suggested to my husband and son to go to Montreal and spend time with his brother this weekend. They felt in their own bodies that this was a wonderful idea, and acted on it.

Wow, just to write this down and see it in front of me...if this was last year at this time, I would of played, "poor me" and somehow, allow huge sadness and depression to consume my whole weekend. Now, I am not making light of "depression" - what I am saying is that I have found a way to dissolve that, and no longer attach myself to my past. I have had "resolution" in my body. I no longer even have any "pulls" or "pressing up against me" that has truly "Gone".

And I was willing to stay in the tough conversations with myself. Not always easy and always amazing!

I listened to a talk show early this morning on CBC. They were talking about "depression" and how they are much better, through exercise, eating better, allowing themselves to be more creative, and the list went on. Yes, I too have and still am doing all of that. I must say that I continue to do all of that, and it is a way of life for now; and more importantly that I ENJOY. I know in my own body that it is right for me. And now the difference for me of "depressive" and "no depression" - this is my own opinion, is the "resolution" I have had in my own body by metabolizing huge amounts of information for me, that I locked down for years. That is there for everyone. I believe everyone can have "resolution" in their bodies and lives.

I believe I don't go outside myself for my answers anymore. Yet before, I was so externally reference that I needed approval from everyone - drove everyone "nuts" including myself. Also had the belief at the time by getting every one's approval is what gave me confidence! WOW what a belief i held as true, real - this is not good, bad, right or wrong - a belief that i was carrying that was not serving me yet I was positioning as REAL AND TRUE for myself...

Which choices will give me a different way to ponder? Do I know there are many choices?...Also coming up from those questions are: How do I know any different, if I have never been shown?

I always heard "Self-Confidence" is an inside job. Before that thought could not even permeate into my body because i was always outside looking for "approval". Never did I consider my "truest" "compassionate" "brutally honest" SELF to give me my answers that would give me the "confidence" of SELF.

NO, I am not putting my head in the sand. I am standing tall and looking out into my world now. I am listening and taking in other people's opinions. Then for there, I "take" and it is only the "hit" in my own body, that expands my own world, that allows me to know the truth of my own experience. My "confidence" in SELF has expanded my own life. I hear that signal much clearer and yes, never saying too many words.

I heard myself say to another person today, "hey it's amazing to be ME!" - not too bad I say, by getting "resolution" in my body - allowing more space to open up to amazing possibilities.

The neat thing I fine about "resolution" in my body is that it is GONE - there are things that I look back on this year, that I was in utter fear of, and i can't even pull them up, they are GONE!

Trust your self!!! Just step out, one step, and see how your life will expand!!!