Looking at my life from a different way - what do I want to CREATE?

I just re-read Louise LeBrun's last blog called, "The Palpable Presence of a Woman Awake". Go to www.WEL-Systems.com click on Women Gathering...there is much there, allow yourself, and I say for myself, it is expanding my thinking right now, and looking at my life from a different way...an analogy that I like and shared recently with me. I have moved across the mountain, and no longer continue to do the same thing as I was always trying to do. No longer looking from the same perspective only to continue climbing higher in the mountain and getting no results. No, I have completely changed my perspective by moving around the mountain and viewing something new and different - expanding my perspective!

A quote from Louise's blog is resonating with me, it goes like this..."Do we invest in "trying" to change the world we already created, or do we invest in creating the world we want?"

What is coming up for me, is what I have been going through these past few weeks; how deeply wired my own "stuff" is. I know that I have had so much resolution in the body and it has now allowed me "Space" for other possibilities that I mindfully choose. So yes, i have reclaimed my health and life back, even better then before I became ill - to add, I live in huge gratitude for showing me this new paradigm, which allowed me to reclaim my health and life back - and, there is something that wants me to hold onto from deep in my tissues...that i can't explain..

Okay, so Louise's first part of her sentence is "Do we invest in "trying" to change the world we already created..." No, is a simple answer for me, yet one that has given me conflict these past few weeks. I am very awake to knowing that it is only in the next moment that follows, i stand at now and choose...the opportunity to change my mind differently. I don't have to be my past, nor push the river. All that is required of me, for me, is to be "MYSELF". How hard is that?

Not who I have been taught to believe I am yet the "True" Me that is alive, joyous, happy and safe in my own body. The "ME' that breathe's huge potential, curiosity, bewilderment, zest, love, compassion into my own life, and always choosing Myself first...WOW, amazing people, places, events come into my life...


This is so simple when I write this out and see it on the screen. I don't continue to create or invest in the world I already created...if I am real with myself...some of it is not working for me. Right now, I invest in creating the world I want...

At this point, I no longer can even remotely believe that I am just fine. Of course, at this point of the many courses I have taken with the WEL-Systems Insitute - and knowing what I know, knowing what I don't know, don't know, and knowing there is so much more possible for me in my life. Yes I am fine... Yet I surrender to my fire...i allow whatever wants to surface, surface. I no longer am going to fear this huge warm, or hot, glow that is inside my body. This is the gateway for me to create a life that is one that will create the world I want. I Declare that I am no longer Fearful of my Own Fire!

Something else that needs to be clear for me, is my intention. I declare in this moment that I no longer listen to a voice inside of me that wants to 'sabatoge' me. I engage sooner of my "authentic" self - the designer and creator of my life - to what I want and choose. I am living 'awake". I am a buissness woman. I choose to create in my life what I want. What I want is to engage, in small gatherings, or one-on-one conversations with other women that are also up for living their lives with meaning, purpose and fulfillment. I am willing to share my own experiences that I have in my body, of my journey back to reclaiming my heath and life, knowing that it is also possible for them, if that is what they choose.
I am choosing me first, and that allows my love ones to stand tall in who they are, and choose themselves first. Already my life is full, and i live in bewildermet and surprize to how much better it can get! Who would of ever believed!!!

I had focussed first on myself getting healther - then, spent a lot of time in meaningful conversations with my son and husband. For me, the ones dearest to me, have offered the biggest lessons for me to pay attention to, and I know that I am a very effective facilitator. Not always easy to take myself out of the picture, always wanting to be "right" and knowing that it is more about being "happy" yet the pay off has been like no other. Yes, I have my son back, in a different way, and he is leaving for New Zealand for a month on Wednesday. This coming month, I plan to give myself space to write about my own journey back to great health and how my son, by being himself, gave me so much clarity about my own life. Yesterday, my husband and I had a conversation that wasn't easy, and he thanked me later for staying with it - it has made a difference to him, today!

One more thing I want to talk about is something that has come to light for me. Talking to other women, I spoke about being a nurturer. Somehow, I have looked on that as being my down fall...I shared with them that I didn't cancel my own appointment for the sake of picking up my son from work. Before I would easily fall into default and do everything for him, and for that matter everyone else...He went home on the bus which he is unfamiliar with the route or city and believe me, he expressed to me that he was JUST FINE. Someone spoke up and said to me, " that is how you are an amazing nurturer because you had your son ride the bus and not cancel your appointment". Thanks Lisa for that insight it has changed my life.

Wow, I'm breathing deeply...