That old familiar energy of "SELF-CONFIDENCE"?

A lot has been going through me these past couple of days. More specifically, something that is coming into my awareness right now is old familiar energy. I am clear that I stand in the now, and look into my emerging future. Whatever needs to come up from my past to present itself, will. This is how I evolve and move closer to who I am in the world (not who I have been culturally conditioned to be). These last couple of days, I have been facing an old familiar energy that is going through me. I will call it "self-confidence".

It is interesting to me, that I blog for me, and only me. Lately, how I blog, has created internal conflict for me. In my intelligent, I am having these thoughts of blogging on a different level. I liken this to the time I spent in university. All those papers I wrote throughout my two degrees.
Over time, I pumped out these amazing papers. I payed attention to all the rules that either the discipline wanted, or that writing a "proper" paper had. Yes, from sentence structure, wording, past tense, past participle, run-on sentences, subject-verb agreement, punctuation, spelling a word correctly and the list of "rules" goes on...

Pumping out these amazing papers that gave me incredible 'external' gratitude yet for me...somehow, I didn't own them...

Am I enjoying the process of what I am doing by blogging? Yes, yet there is a conflict right now...

I have this notion or idea of myself that I "should be more". My blogging should be more of "formal" writing and become clearer to the reader.

I am in absolute "tears" right now. To me, this "emotion" is "energy" in flow...

My intention is not for other's. My Blogging is for me. PERIOD.

Okay, the process of how I am blogging is one that speaks to me. And only to me. It is clear to me that I blog from "raw" impulses that come from deep inside me. I just allow myself to blog whatever comes out of my body and allow my intelligent to move well out of the way.

What does that mean? I don't pay attention to all the "rules" of writing - yet, allow the vibration of who I am to come out and onto the writing screen. So, my blogging may not make sense to someone reading my blog. Or my "past, present, and future" tenses may be all in one sentence.

I am finding this interesting..."It may even be hard for one to read my blogs".

I going to stop and think about what I have just written. This sentence, is bringing up the idea of, is this how I am choosing to live my life right now?

I am outrageous, fun and living life fully. Yet, do I have the belief that other's are not seeing the HUGE presence I am in the world. Or, more true to me, do I have a belief that other's are not "reading" who I am in the world!

And what makes me "sad" is that how many times have I believed that i have been overlooked because I am different. I have always had a "different" way to move through my life, and it became so "painful" to me that I "silenced" myself.

I don't know where to go from here. I am going to give myself a few minutes...

I do have a knowing in my body that I am HUGELY connected to who I am. This was not true as little as months ago. I don't fall back into default anymore. And right now, there is something for me to find out more about myself. My stomach is starting to "rumble" right now...great sign I say!!!

I know from, Evolution by Intention, through the WEL-Systems Institute, that it is none of my business what other's think of me. And I know that if it comes up, then it is there for me to discover more of myself. It is not about the content, yet what is evoked in me.

Funny how, the next sentence that wants to pop on the screen...is it is just fine how I am blogging!
This is a choice that I am wanting, at a higher level of thinking, that allows and invites, for me to discover more about the essence of who I am. How exciting for me - it is "ALL ABOUT ME"!

You too can partake in this process, whatever way you choose, and it will be "ALL ABOUT YOU"! How cool is that! How freeing is that!!!!

So, it is just fine for me to blog in my "raw" form. I don't have to attach external "stuff" outside of me because that only adds to confusion for me and leaves me with this sense of being"self-conscious". What will always guide me, is the knowing in my body, that how I am blogging is just "perfect" for me, right now. Man, how better does it get, when I have found a way to release the possible, potential emerging ME!!!

trust your self....