I was just outside weeding and it started to rain....and that opens up space for me to blog...
I had a huge disappointment tonight. My youngest brother was going to come for the weekend and today he said that "personal matters" came up. Not only does my son enjoy this brother's company, I enjoy being around him as well.
I move through my world differently these days. No longer, will I lash out and let everyone in the family know how disappointed I am. Instead I sat on the couch and allowed huge waves come through me. Invited whatever needed to be released from the deep tissue of my cells to come and be welcomed...
It didn't feel good and at times I had a hard time breathing, all knowing that I would be okay. It did take a while and then my body stabilized - from there I was ready to go outside and weed for awhile. I really am not attaching meaning to this wave and know that I am expanding my own life - no longer letting things stop me. It is all okay and know this is something that I created in order for me to learn more of who I am. (very different then who I have been taught to believe I am)
How is this different then before. Well, I would play the "lost child" and allow myself to be really "sad" and in a huge blame mode.
What I am finding interesting is that another person has now taken the spare ticket for the Rugby match that is playing here in Ottawa on Saturday (that was within the hour my brother cancelled) - and it is unfolding nicely...WOW, before I use to believe that I controlled the situation - whew that was huge WEIGHT on me. Now, I just step up to my life and "INSERT" myself. I cannot predict the outcome, and I know that it is going to be WONDERFUL! WHY? Because when I am true to myself life unfolds Magically!!!
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