Here I am. Here I am in this beautiful space that I have created. Here I am in this "home" that I am happy and joyful, glancing out each and every window...and in awe of the views I have.
Each window offers me something different, one window looks over the ravine, this morning, I looked down at the footprints in the snow of some welcomed animal. Another view of looking high into the sky and watching the clouds move to all it's glory. I am fascinated by watching the stars, and some evenings knowing they are still there, yet, clouded over. And watching the moon as it changes night after night as I ponder in awe.
This is the sunniest house I have ever lived in streaming gorgeous bright light into every window. Another view of overlooking the crescent, a view that reminds me of the different times I lived and traveled in Great Britain. The rolling hills, the marshland and the Ottawa River that I have a sense that I belong, yet I have lots of space for myself to be "free".
I pause...this is a metaphor for how I choose to live my life! I am excited! My son shared with me he wrote in a card a year ago, "May you continue to chase your dreams, and get er done". I must say now I understand that for me, I am experiencing my dreams, that I have dreamed all my life, and now I am choosing me which I haven't done most of my life, and making a difference in other people's lives.
Wondering in and out of many thoughts...And a view of looking within the crescent I live on, connecting with the people that are around me, knowing that they too are in awe of the place they have chosen to call "home". This is the beginning of relaxing into...a life that I have chosen!!!
I have created all of this, owning this...I have chosen ME!
To be in front of this computer, writing, and feeling the light flash in my body knowing that I have created something wonderful for myself, my husband and for my son to visit and be part of.
How cool is that for me?
How excited I am, and funny how I am letting go of "being okay that I don't have words" for the intensity I am experiencing in my body right now. After all, I was told recently that I am the "Queen" of allowing myself to rumble, allowing the full "wave" in my body to move in the presence of many, and just "letting go" relaxing into the intelligence that my body has to offer me. It is that simple, if we didn't know anything else, and only knew to breathe - and get out of the way of our brain intelligence. Life would be effortless for all of us - and cooler stuff we could engage in!
Yesterday I spent the day arranging my office. I paused for quite a while and looked at...I have never allowed myself to honor and claim the successes that I have joyfully experienced (no, it was not always easy for me, yet, right now, I share with you, what is so meaningful for me to share in this moment...TA DA!!!
I look first at the "success" and the process that allowed me to grow into who I am today, and who I am becoming - the REAL ME and not the Culturally Conditioned me:
As I open up this beautiful blue envelope I witness my own evolution and growth I have experienced these past two years:
The first certificate states that I have completed 120 hours of WEL-Systems study and experience as a WEL-Systems Facilitator, the certificate delivered to me on April 20, 2007.
The second certificate acknowledges that I have completed requirements exceeding 150 hours of WEL-Systems study and experience as a Quantum TLC(TM) Facilitator granted on July 13, 2007.
The third award for me acknowledges that I have completed requirements exceeding 120 hours of WEL-Systems study and experience as a WEL-Systems Master Facilitator granted on July 22, 2007
What comes out of my mouth right now, is that then I got my life back and Let Go...
How I am claiming this for myself, is to frame each of these, and put them up on my wall in this office for me to see. And of course, I can change when it pulls me, to put up on a wall for other's to see. I know I come from a early family system that "education" "awards" "successes" were valued yet we must never ("boost") speak up about successes.
Now, this next sucess I want to speak up and out, and own, is very powerful and potent for me, My CODE Model Coach(TM) "designation". This is a way I live my life. I am ever changing, moment to next moment. At first it was choosing myself, (it has not always been easy), then from there I was willing and able to make a difference in my son's life, and my husband's life, and then made a difference in family member's lives who choose/choosing to find a different way that expands, living fully and meaningful lives to move through and I offer just that to them and many more people who are coming into my life.
Now, my space is extending out to clients that are finding that choosing them self first, means something very different then the notion that they were culturally conditioned to believe. The word "Selfish" usually in my experience, shatters the body, and a nice place to have a conversation. In this past month, a success I am owning is that I have changed and expanded nine people's lives. I make a difference in my own life, and lives of people that come into my life.
This is interesting for me...I have never really owned the space I created for myself to "rumble" in my own growth. Yes, I was one of those late bloomers that wanted and desired to go to university when I was in my late 30's. I loved spending time in the library and just researching other people's opinions. It was blissful to me, and the other stuff that was required of me, sometimes, not so wonderful.
My success in my late 30's and something I am owning for the first time is...I went through a process, met the requirements of both degrees I engaged in, and in my body right now, own it all - the not so happy stuff and the wonderful stuff that I experienced.
I do have an undergraduate degree in Canadian Studies (meaning that I was able to take from any discipline any course, providing that the content was at least 60% Canadian content along with core course that were required to meet the degree's requirement). I was able to study in courses that lite me up, I studied Black African Canadians, Aboriginals, Women Studies, How many culturally groups came to Canada, new Canadians, oh man the list goes on...I loved learning about it all!
Then, I wanted to do my Master's in Education Physiology and was "told" that I needed to do my Bachelor of Education first. (wow, talk about being out of alignment) I persevered for a two year program and at the end of the process received my Bachelor of Education degree. (These past few sentences I have gone out of the intelligence of my body right into the intelligence of the brain). Yuck!!!! And I am getting a "hit" that there was intelligence in my body then, for how my life has transformed into my NOW (oh, boy I am happy with quantum leaps as opposed to incremental changes and relish in that I took a path that has brought me to this body of knowlege).
So I have owned and spoke up and out about my successes. That is how easy my life is now. I don't have to have big drama, nor huge "this pisses me off" moments that i often keep to myself - it is not to say that I can have "annoying" moments still or I press up against something for me to learn more of myself. I just know that the "whole" of all my experiences has lead me to where I am right now. I have created it all!!!
I have this card that I picked up a few weeks back, it reads:
Walk slowly. Don't rush. Each STEP brings you to the best moment of your life, the present moment. Thieh Nhat Hanh
For me, it resonates because it was in the "moment of Pause" that I took to even see a gleamer of something different for myself. Yes, in my world, quantum leaps happen, when I pay attention to the "Don't Rush" and living in the NOW!
Trust yourself
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