My Life is Amazing and NO MORE "Deflecting" what is meaningful to me!!!

DEFLECT..."Turn aside from straight course; (cause to) deviate (from)... (Oxford dictionary)

Wow, a strategy that I have been using all my life and not realizing that it was "me" that was always doing "it". Jeesh! I have arrived in the full magnificent of who I am and becoming and still giving little bits and parts of me away!!

I know that I am more this body I live in, and have always known that I am "HUGE" in this world. No, not about physical appearance yet more about the "intensity" and the ebb and flow that I enjoy "being" in my world. Huge laughter, quiet moments, enjoying time with other's that I feel great around because they are who they authentically are and becoming, and that allows me to expand deeper into who I am and becoming. These days, right now, I am able to find 'meaningful' experiences with people I love and no longer find time with them only out of "obligation" which I did most of my life. Yeah some people have "disappeared" and other's have come in clearer in my life. I am excited about the many new people that are and appearing on my holodeck. My life is amazing and NO MORE "Deflecting" what is meaningful to me!!!

This is another layer and it was so "invisible" to me almost like it was so "calm" in my body and able to live in my body that always had a pattern that was so "accessible" "automatic button" "so hard wired into the deep structure of my language, permeates in the tissue of each cell of my body... Which choices were I making and make to "deflect" something that was/is so meaningful to me?...oh, so in my body of knowing that yes, being excited and allowing more of this new moment to breathe into...and in that nanosecond I would "deflect" ---not knowing that I was giving away a part of me or even "deflecting"... Not even realizing that in that moment that I was choosing not to expand my life.

Now man, oh man, I am so up for living more and fuller, and my life is "new" to the direction that I want...yet, this "deflecting" is the more that allows me to not have as "HUGE" of potential as I am so up for.

Do I go into my past and make up many stories of why I "deflect"?

NO!!!

I stand right here and just relax into who I am and becoming ---this is information for me to metabolize - either I choose to metabolize or choice not to metabolize...

I just sit here at the computer with "amazement" that I have the choice in each moment to "deflect" or not "deflect"... wonderful that I have allowed myself to even get to the point that I notice now that I "deflect" or not "deflect". This "Deflection" is not good, bad, right or wrong yet when is it useful for me? Do I choose for mySelf first or do I choose to "nurture" everyone else?

Now, I believe "deflection" does work for me when I know I don't want something in my life - very effective...yet, it is in those moments that "I want" "I desire" my life to expand and out comes this strategy..I "deflect" ...and I not knowing what I had just done, or even realizing I had just done something that moves me away from the very thing I can have and is presenting strongly to me...I wonder why my life is not "expanding"...

I have been sneezing right now, this too is a sign of movement in flow...

"DEFLECTING" when am I willing, and when am I not willing to use this strategy? This is what I am going to be curious about and pay attention to for mySelf...

Trust-your-self