I Don't KNOW WHAT TO CALL This BLOG - I'll "JUST TAKE"!

This past week has been one of 'chaos' and I am glad to say this today, that I stand taller/stronger in the knowing of more clarity about myself, once again!

By staying with a huge wave that lasted at least 48 hours to moved through me, and by not shutting it down, it has brought more awareness to me. It is though a lens has been "shattered" and I am seeing from a clearer lens. I am very aware that I have more presence of my SELF.

Has this week been easy? NO!

Have I stayed with the 'chaos'? YES!

I need to talk about, not the impulses that have moved through my body, but the awareness that I have now become clearer to, because of the huge waves that have moved through my body this week. Yes, I believe I do live in a holographic universe. Everything that unfolds in my world, and a little side note, I believe it doesn't have to be as hard as I have found it this week, so at times, it be not so easy, or it is easy, and is all there for me to discover the 'essence' of WHO I AM in the world; unveiling each layer by layer, to discover more of my SELF.

Do I have to pay attention to everything? NO! YET what I am learning is that I am not always going to be able to attach meaning or language to what is moving through my body. I just flow with it, moment to moment, breathing in and out. What has been useful for me is to change the type of breathe - the water breathe has been effective for me to go into, a very uplifting breathe and incredible movement and flow happens to me.

Lately I have declared a vision for myself. It is no coincidence that Amy McNaughton and I have decided to share our own NEW experience once a month on our blogging. Amy is very separate from what she is experiencing and I am doing what pulls me. Where it will be fun for me, is just the "FRESHNESS" of something new and how excited about life - even more, adding a new dimension to my life!

What has come up for me lately, is once I have created SPACE in my body - what happens? AM I feeling SAFE?
I believe I can go back into habit/default because that is what feels comfortable, familiar and safe in my body, even though it may not be serving me, nor feeling comfortable in my body (for example such as "depression" - the last of whatever 'residual energy' wants to stick like crazy glue: and I experienced this this week - for about four hours near the end of the huge wave, I sat with this incredible feeling of "sadness" - what I now know, and what I didn't know a year ago pre-WEL-Systems has made a difference to me - in this past year, all the time I have spent reading, being in programs and experiencing life differently - allowed me to stay with this intense 'feeling' of sadness this week - I now know it has left my body and before last year I would of shut it down with eating in excess, hoping it to go away, and just continue to feel sad and not know there is a different way for me to move through my world.)

So know that I have created SPACE and my life is so amazing - I am up for change in my routine! I am adding a new dimension to my life - not making it hard, or expensive or something that is so unachievable I want to give up...no, this is going to be 'effortless" "enjoyable"'something that I want/desire to do" and it is going to be something totally different than want I have experience ever before in my life...do something out of the "ordinary" for me! Or maybe do something that was always been in my mind and never came to reality for me.

So this may require me to "JUST TAKE"!

WOW, does that bring up a lot of STUFF for me. For me to "JUST TAKE" in order for me to be happier, more joyful, more alive! How dare I "just take" when i have been taught to "wait" for everyone to get their share before I took more. And then be disappointed because after 11 other people took there was no more.

Man, my belief now, is there is so much abundance that it is up to each individual to "just take" what they want. Trust me, this has been the biggest break through for me this week. I am grateful to Louise LeBrun for creating her new CD on "Leadership Redefined~Reclaimed an Emerging Futures Conversation" because what has been consistent to me all week is spending time listening to these CD's - every CD that I put on, spoke to me, and gave me more clarity about what I was going through at that moment- it is a different way of thinking that makes so much sense, so if I didn't have these CD's, I believe I wouldn't be experiencing the huge clarity I have now.

Last week, and again from the conversations that the new CD presented - I had this huge awareness of "insert" - now, that may not mean anything to someone else, and how huge it was for me. From "inserting" myself an amazing gathering of women got together for meaningful conversation! Imagine! I created that by "inserting" myself!

So where am I going with all of this....i don't know...and I know that I needed to blog today...everything is always connected I believe - and I am so happy to say, that I am able to say their is a bigger picture and our lives get fuller!!! We may not always have all the parts in our awareness...the water breathe is great for me to pay attention to right now...Yahoo! As I think of the possibilities of something NEW in my life to discover!!!