I Am Not What I Have Been Taught to Believe I AM!

Okay I am just going to start writing, there is so much intensity in my body and yes, this is the invitation, that maybe I have been waiting for since I was eleven. I am not going to worry about grammar, sentence structure, oh, all those rules - what that hell is that all about?
Who am I! Yes, that is the big question I have been wondering all my life...yes, maybe for some, a thought way out there but no, it is something that is so in me that will just give me more life - and not, less, like the path I have been taking these last couple of years - that I know for sure....I am not what I have been taught to believe I am. I am not that "martyr" that helps everyone else to feel good about themselves and then there is nothing left for me...and be subducted into thinking, "oh good for you Marie that someone else feels better, you made their day"...I am no longer seduced into my own thinking that my husband makes great money and that he will support me! I know something is vibrating in me and there are no words to describe right now - I know that whatever this means it will unfold...i am very strong and willing to stand on my own - I don't need to be giving EVERYTHING of myself away, NOT EVEN TO MY HUSBAND!!!!
I am a high energy person and feel so ALIVE when I move my body. Yes, that means when I have that head band on, sweat pouring down my body, moving with the wind on my bike enjoying the changing landscape...yes Marie, you loved the three years you lived in England and you biked everywhere with Chris - day trips, holiday trips, bike rides - mind you, you were happiest when you travelled a distance, not just for a stroll...LOL
I am no longer going to buy into myself and believe that I have a DIS EASE in my body. That served me, and made sense then, and now that is no longer making sense to me. I don't have to be scared or live in fear, and just relax into and trust the internal truth of my moment to moment intuition (impulses)...
oh, as i sit here my body is much calmer and I am going to just sit back and pay attention to what is moving in my body - I am feeling a sharpe twitch (flash ) in my right side of my upper arm...
Lots of rules are coming up for me right now...I have to sit back and think right now...WOW, no longer am I going to not finish a thought that doesn't come up right away (man big rules there when you come from a family of 12)- I don't have to feel like an "airhead" to myself - most important!!!!!and make excuses to anyone that I can't complete my thought - i move in the world very differently then most and that is okay (funny how each of us moves in the world differently???)- i do belong, when it comes to light for me, it makes sense and usually it makes a difference for me to say out loud, and from there it gives someone else a platform to stand on to experience the truth of their own experience. I am very clear that I live in a holographic universe.
I am much bigger than I have been taught of 'who i am'. I am not this body - cause I can feel I am living way outside of this body. FUN!!! I am not feeling the habitual "gushy, romantic, motivational stuff" that I would be drawn to from my past yet very clear that each of us is more than what we have been taught who we are and we are MAGNIFICENT in our imperfections!!!!
I am going to write this sentence for myself, "I am a Quantum Biological Human"...Marie, let that rumble around inside you...breathe into the base of my spine...who knows what happens and I know it will be FUN!!!!