Trust me it use to look "ugly" LOL

Yesterday after my blogging, throughout my day, I had a lot of movement - I was "angry" and wanted to just be "unreasonable". In the afternoon, I had a one-on-one "Wel-systems context" session with a women of my age, and because I believe we live in a holographic universe, things came up for me that I payed attention to. Only less than a year ago, do I have a way now, that no one had ever introduced me to that gives me results, and my life is getting fun and vibrant once again. Before, with no resolution, and year after year, "it" was gaining fierce momentum, getting horribly self-destructive for my health and well-being. Trust me it use to look "ugly" especially once a month LOL!!! Now that I know this is old "stuff" from my past that wants to be metabolized - getting out of my own way and allowing my body to process (metabolize), before my intellect would console me and now, I know I am just fine in that moment, allowing first my body to metabolize the information, then in a minute or week or month gain clarity. It never works in the other order, "trying" to engage our intellect and then from there, I don't know about you, but somehow the situations would explode and everyone in my 60 mile radius would be "pissed off" at me!!!
I'm going back to yesterday's blog only because it is something that resonates with me (hmm, am I asking permission????) I stand in the now, and look into my emerging future...something that just crossed my mind is that I am already "being" and action is happening to my "unknown" future? No longer do I have to stop when someone chooses not to participate/engage with me, I go on to the next player....this doesn't sound cold, callous or deceitful to me anymore, it is a burden lifted off of my shoulders because it is all about not silencing myself because someone else wants to be comfortable silencing themselves. Something that is also coming up for me is I no longer live in the "absolutes" - it is not up to me to be your "advocate" because you don't want to "make waves" or "be out of the loop". The chips will fall and I will be just fine - somehow my life doesn't get punning at this point it expands...