Why WAIT? why WEIGHT? First time, Doing this Differently!!!

Last night I went to bed and don't know if this was my last thought, before I fell asleep, or something that I was dreaming about during my sleep. During my recent university days I use to have a scribbler and every new word that I would 'meet' I would 'explore' - write the word down in the scribbler and then the meaning beside the word. It was an amazing way for me to expand my world and for my life to become bigger...
So, last night I went to bed with these two words, "wait" and "weight"----something that also resonates with me is WHY wait? Why weight? (hmm, I am looking at the Code Model TM right now -this is not a diagnostic tool yet a starting point for me and whoever wants to give themselves an opportunity to find out more about themselves, again a starting point for me, from a place of inquiry (created by Louise LeBrun from the Wel-systems Institute). So when I am asking a 'why' question I think about my beliefs/values/attitudes and who I have been taught to believe I am, and who I believe other people think I am, the Culturally Conditioned Self.
Okay, I am ready to play...
let me look up both 'wait' and 'weight' in "The Concise Oxford Dictionary":
wait - 1. defer action or departure for specified time or until some expected event occurs, be expected or on the watch (for, till; wait a minute, waited (for) and hour; shall not wait here any longer; kept me waiting or made me wait; wait till I come, have a month to wait yet; will do it for you while you wait; wait till i come, for high water or a fine day; waited to see what would happen...do not begin before the proper moment; for me!, do not go so fast that I am left behind; cannot, is impatient, you must wait your turn....p1207
Oh man my body is screaming already!!!LOL
Okay the next word that I want to look up, "weight"
1. force with which body tends to centre of attraction, esp. (of terrestrial things) degree of downward tendency in body produced as resultant of earth's gravitation and centrifugal force (the weight of a body varies with latitude and altitude but its mass does not) 2. relative mass or quantity of matter contained and giving rise to downward force, heaviness, ...p 1220

I know by even blogging this today it is giving me a voice - and because I am allowing this to be seen it is "transforming" for me...Over the past month my voice is getting much stronger, certain and more ME - who I really am in the world - the ME that is alive, vibrate, full of laughter! Funny how, and I can talk in the absolutes for this one, ALL of us know who we really are because in those moments we feel and think so ALIVE, and have WEL-BEING, our bodies are AWAKE! -check in with yourself next time when you are having fun at work!!! Yes, that can happen believe it or not, and why don't we allow that to happen?....Who I really know who I am, and who I have been "weighting/waiting" down most my life is something that is coming into my awareness right now...my weight, my heaviness in my body is not about bad nutrition (come on, all us overweight people, we know about good nutrition, we got that together when the big diet craze came in - probably in the late 70's - this might rot your socks off but next time ask an overweight person about good nutrition and I am certain you will walk away with amazing information that you have never even thought about...). Oh okay, there never is just one thing - many things can co-exist at the same time...
For me, I have taught myself to not want to move my body; yet when, I know, AND it is the polar opposite - I feel alive, well, so full of health, WHEN MY BODY IS MOVING...Yes, I don't want to move my body because I bought into the whole "healthy life" stuff, that only certain size people can participate...and I must look at the "wait" that has been with me for many, many years...I wait for my friend to come over, I wait until my son grows up and then I can do something for me, I wait until my husband comes home to snowplow the driveway (this happen the other day and I wondered to myself, the machine is not that "heavy" why don't I learn to operate it myself? My next breathe, I am moving away from the belief of gender - men are not the enemy - believe me, my husband would of been delighted if he didn't have to come home from his massage the other night to snowplow out the driveway (now that is an oxymoron! Laughing Out Loud!! LOL). I don't know if this really fits but everything is connected - my hair the other day looked like "YUCK" when I flat iron it - when i was finished I said to myself, next time I get my hair done I am going to get the hairstylist to teach me how to flat iron my hair - I am going to ask for me to do it - not her - and that it the only way I am going to learn (hmm, not 'wait' around for something to happen when I can't get out of my own way to ask...)
Well it is Sunday and I love this day with my husband...i know i stand in a different place by blogging today...thanks!!!! love and laughter, Marie