Reflection of 2007 pre Wel-systems

The house is quiet right now, it is January 3rd, 2008, my husband is back at work, my son is fast asleep, he is visiting with us, dog is having surgery today and somehow even as recent as a year ago, (I would carry this belief pre Wel-systems experiences) I "Should" be hitting the ground "hard" and "furiously" and "push that river" to go forward with my life, you know, a new year and all.. "doing" rather than "being"...
Over this past year, I have been introduced to a very different way that has allowed me to re-claim my life back and redefine who I am as a human being. I see the invitation for me to engage with intensity and how much it means to me to allow myself to "be"... as I exude with lots of love and laughter...
Somehow, I know that this is the signal I am in the world. I am no longer all over the place with silencing who I am, or who I was taught to believe - and funny enough, and maybe one of the most profound for me, of who I thought everyone else expected me to be. Wow, that does just resonate to the core of who I am -yet I don't feel any "sadness" nor "flatline" - I no that the residual energy has been metabolized and yes, there is always more - I now move very differently in my world and very awake when I choose to fall back into default, or when I choice to let my life expand and get bigger.
Over this holiday time, it has been enlightening to me, because I, for the first time in my life, had no expectations of this timeframe- and allowed situations, events, conversations to unfold - it really was fun and meaningful to me. Because I stood tall in who I am, and who I choose to be, it allowed my husband to stand tall in who he is, and my son to stand tall in who he is. We had fun and we weren't firing off and blaming each other (silently as we did in the past). The energy was calm and playful - and inviting - what is amazing to me, is that we had people over, two different times and it was fun -not out of obligation, because i wanted to connect with these people and just "be". Something that is coming up in me right now is that when "I" relax into myself, it gives permission for the men in my life to "relax" into who they are...Life is fun!!!